if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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