Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
