Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
