There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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