She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
