dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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