his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
you had me at cake vodka
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
