oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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