My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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