Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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