Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
