How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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