i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
