every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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