Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
