I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize