i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
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