How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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