So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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