We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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