If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
