At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I think your dad took our porno
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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