Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
