4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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