He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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