Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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