Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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