Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
