Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
