he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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