i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Everyone says I win the strip club
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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