When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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