babies were throwing up all over the place
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
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hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
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It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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