I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
