I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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