Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
