Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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