We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
