were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
