we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
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i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
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official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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