i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
