It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
