dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
