Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
