Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
