i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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