The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
