At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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