life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
