I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
