im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
