the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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