And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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