O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize