just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
