i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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