That's intense
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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